Two years since my DTS – Guest blog from Ann-Christin Werner
It’s almost two years now, since I started my DTS in Seamill, and well “spoiled for the ordinary” describes best what the time after DTS felt and feels like. Right after DTS in March 2014, God gave me a burning desire to take the experience I had in Seamill and to pass it on, experiencing God’s love and acceptance through community. I always struggled with “seeing” God and feeling God and simply accepting that He really is real. Of course I had personal experiences with him, just God and me, but it’s a whole other thing when God uses the people around you to show you what he has given you, to encourage you to follow the desires of your heart because it is him who placed them there in the first place, and to see your giftings and to walk with you. But overall to see that there are people who really believe in you, and who think you are absolutely valuable, simply because of the fact that God’s spirit lives in you and that you deserve to be honoured.
I was able to grow incredibly much and to heal real deeply in this atmosphere of love and acceptance. I never thought it is possible to experience such a deep connection to people that I would even go so far to call them family, and the only way this was possible, is because each and every one of those people around me was filled with the love of God and had become a deeper understanding of what it means to see people through God’s eyes. In his love, selfishness is not necessary because you simply know that he provides for everything you need. I’m especially talking about the emotional needs we experience. When I know I am loved by the creator of love, and I am able to love, because he is love, it becomes the ultimate way for me to bring his Kingdom into this world, in a way that it is impossible for anyone to ignore it. This is my way of being a Missionary in Germany right now. It is my desire to show love in action and to show people then how real God is. The good and practical thing about a vision like this is, that you don’t necessarily have to go to a special place, because there are always people around you to love. The challenging thing about it is, that you often times wish you had to go to an other place, because the people around you seem not to be the “right” people to love, and you would rather love someone else. Well in those times, there is nothing left but asking God for new eyes for the people around you; and well again, he does that. So you never will get bored! Yeah! I’m joking a little here, but let’s be serious, this is not easy and I get overwhelmed by the need of the people I see around me pretty regularly.
Now, I am studying Theology in Germany and there are way more questions than answers, and with everything new I learn, I feel like I know less. But with every breakdown, I get a deeper understanding of what believing for me comes down to, which is 1 John 4:16 – “God is love, and who remains in love, remains in God and God in him.” I feel like I don’t know God at all sometimes, because he is just too big, too holy, too awesome. If you study him and the old times, history, the original languages, it just seems too much sometimes. So much so that I lose grip on all that, but I can’t forget that I have experienced his love and I love people and have received love from people. This seems to be something I can at least understand a little. So if God is love, and I see what love does to people, I feel like God becomes really visible and not un-seeable.
So, “spoiled for the ordinary” describes the feeling for me to not be content with an ordinary life any more because what I experience with God is anything but extraordinary, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
This is a reflection post from a former trainne, Ann-Christin who did her DTS with us in Oct 2013 and has been home to Germany to study. Here she is describing what it has been like to take the experience of DTS into her life in Germany.